Every Guide / Index
TechniqueGuides
Less about tricks. Mostly about what gets done and for how long.
Technique guides usually promise something novel, because novelty is easier to write about than the truth. The truth is that most of what separates a good encounter from a disappointing one is time, attention, and being told what actually works by the person it is happening to.
These pages are written accordingly. There is very little here you have never heard of. There is quite a lot about how long things need, what gets rushed, and why the obvious advice keeps failing in practice.
What ThisSection Covers
Each guide takes one area and gets specific about the parts that usually go wrong. Where the sensation actually comes from, how much time it genuinely needs, and which common instinct is working against you.
They are meant to be practical rather than exhaustive. Where a page overlaps with the position guides it links across rather than repeating them, because the position is often the easiest part to change.
Time Does MoreThan Skill
The single most consistent finding across this whole area is that the parts that work get less time than they need. That is true of arousal, it is true of anything leading to orgasm, and it is true of stopping to check in.
Rushing also compounds. Feeling that you are taking too long is itself an obstacle, so a hurried encounter creates the pressure that makes it less likely to work. Removing the sense of a clock is a practical change rather than a romantic one.
The corollary is that a new technique is rarely what is needed. They need to keep doing the one that was working, unchanged, for considerably longer than feels natural.
Ask RatherThan Guess
Nothing in this section generalises perfectly. What works varies between people and varies for the same person across a week, which means information from your actual partner outranks anything written here.
Asking during works better than asking afterwards, and offering a choice between two things is far easier to answer than an open question. Neither requires anybody to deliver a review mid encounter, which is what makes them workable. Talking about sex covers the wider version.
Questions PeopleAsk
Where should I start in this section?
The foreplay guide, in most cases, since the most common problem across this whole area is that the parts which build arousal get compressed. The female orgasm guide covers where the sensation actually comes from.
Is technique really the issue?
Less often than people assume. Time and attention account for more of the difference than skill does, and the most useful instruction is usually to keep doing what is already working rather than to try something new.
How do you ask a partner what works?
During rather than afterwards, and as a choice between two things rather than an open question. That is much easier to answer in the moment and does not ask anyone to deliver a critique.
Do these guides cover positions?
Only where the position is doing the work. Where that is the case they link across to the relevant position guide rather than repeating it, since changing the position is often the simplest fix available.